


Two CDRWs and a Dog

by Polyhexian



Category: The Transformers (IDW Generation One), Transformers - All Media Types
Genre: Canon Divergence, Fluff, Multi, Polyamory, Post-Canon, this is absolutely buckwild indulgent
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-06-17
Updated: 2020-06-17
Packaged: 2021-03-03 23:00:37
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,053
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24773536
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Polyhexian/pseuds/Polyhexian
Summary: Good news, via shenanigans, none of the dead people holograms from Mederi disappeared and everybody is alive, including Chromedome2 because I still don't know why HE wasn't there. Two Chromedomes, two Rewinds and Dominus all get a nice house in the suburbs. That's it. This is domestic fluff with two cdrws and a dog living in one house. Sometimes friends come over. It's cute.
Relationships: Brainstorm/Perceptor/Quark (Transformers), Chromedome/Chromedome/Rewind/Rewind/Dominus Ambus (Transformers), Chromedome/Dominus Ambus/Rewind, Chromedome/Rewind (Transformers), Cyclonus/Tailgate/Whirl (Transformers), Dominus Ambus/Rewind, Rewind/Rewind (Transformers)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 41





	Two CDRWs and a Dog

**Author's Note:**

> Hjdjishshfbng this is the DUMBEST and MOST self indulgent thing I've ever written, YES feel free to yoink this au if you want, I'm having fun.
> 
> Shout out to Tumblr user Rev-tone for basically coming up with the idea and Tumblr user whirling for Supplying More Ideas and Enabling Me

"...They probably don't even _know_ they're holograms," said Ratchet on the other end of the commline, "You should tell them, so they can say goodbye, before they vanish."

"No!" wailed Chromedome, "it's not fair, I'm not ready!"

"It's okay, Domey," said the Rewind who had just realized he was a hologram, "You'll be alright."

Chromedome hugged him, and the other Rewind, and the other Chromedome too and even Dominus, because he had _just_ accepted this weird topsy turvy reality and already he was losing it, and he waited for the end.

It didn't come.

"Huh," said Ratchet, eventually, voice a burst of static over the line, "I mean, I guess I had to be wrong about something eventually."

Drift picked up Pipes and put him on his shoulders, "I swear to Primus, I'm _keeping_ this one alive. Next person who touches Pipes is a dead mech, I'm not fucking around about this, I will legitimately kill you." 

"Uhhh," said Rodimus, "Okay, well, I guess we should find a way back to the ship, are you all, like, coming?" 

"Is the other option stay here?" asked Quark, less than impressed, "Because I'm not staying here."

"Wow, okay," said one of the Rewinds, "Uh, well, I guess we'll just put a pin in what the hell the rules are with whatever the frag this is now and come back to it when we're on the ship, I guess." 

"Oh god, Sparkeaters!" yelled Tailgate. At that point, the weirdness was forgotten, just one more shenanigan in a long line of shenanigans.

* * *

"Tada!" said Dominus, sitting cross-legged next to one of the Rewinds on top of one of the Chromedome's alt-modes as they rolled up to the end of the cul-de-sac, in front of a pretty, two story habblock, with a white picket fence and a nice garden box out front. "I bought it on the way here. If it isn't to your liking, we can go find another, but I thought it would be better than an apartment, and land is cheap right now since most of the population is dead, so-"

"No, no!" said the Rewind sitting next to him, "It's perfect! I never thought I'd live in a place like this. It looks like something out of a catalogue, like there was never even a war here."

"Technically, my love, there wasn't, Functionist Cybertron skipped all of that." 

"Well, it looks like it didn't go through millenia of horrific state sanctioned violence and class oppression, then," Rewind nodded. 

"Okay, your chariot has come to a stop," said Chromedome, testily, "Can we go in now?"

"Oh, sorry, Domey!" Rewind cried, scampering off of Chromedome's alt-mode so he could transform. Behind them, the other Chromedome and Rewind rolled up and parked, following suit. 

"Wow!" said the second Chromedome, "Did you buy this, or are we renting it?" 

"Bought it!" said the Rewind who had arrived first, proudly. 

"Shouldn't you have rented it?" said the second Rewind, putting his hands on his hips, "So we could have gone house hunting together?"

"I like it," said both Chromedomes simultaneously. 

" _Domey_ ," snapped both Rewinds, who then glared at each other. 

"You know," said the second Chromedome, "I've been thinking that we should do something about the names. Like, both of us going by Chromedome is going to be a nightmare. One of us should be Chromedome-one and one of us should be Chromedome-two."

"That's a really long name," said the first Chromedome, "We already _have_ two names, why don't I just switch back to Tumbler?" 

"I don't know if it's fair that _you_ should have to change your name and not me," said the second Chromedome.

"Listen, you threw Prowl off a cliff, as far as I'm concerned, you've earned the name. Tumbler is fine with me," Tumbler nodded, then turned towards the Rewinds, "Any thoughts?" 

"I'm Rewind-one," said both Rewinds, simultaneously.

* * *

"It's very nice," Cyclonus nodded, "Have you considered solar panels, though? I've added them to our home in Tetrahex and it's been such a blessing, even if it's a bit more maintenance."

"I've been considering it," said Dominus, "But the mountains tend to block most of the day-time sun on the roof, so I'm not sure where to put them."

"Well, you could always-"

"Boooooring!" yelled Whirl, shoving himself into the conversation, "Where's all the fun stuff in your swanky new digs, huh? Where's the shooting range? Where's the helipad?"

" _We_ don't have a shooting range," Cyclonus frowned.

"None of us can _fly_ ," Dominus pointed out.

"Not very accommodatin' of your guests," Whirl scoffed, "Where's Winders?"

"Which one?" asked Chromedome, who was chattering on with Tailgate nearby.

"Uhhhh, one, Rewind-one, I think," Whirl said, tapping his helm in thought.

"I'm right here!" said two different Rewinds from opposite sides of the room.

"Uhhh," said Whirl, "Are you both Rewind-one?" 

"Yes!" said one.

"No!" said the other.

They waited approximately right seconds before they started fist fighting and everyone but Whirl, who yelled "fight, fight, fight!" had to seperate them.

* * *

"Minimus called earlier," said Chromedome, petting the half-asleep turbofox in his lap. 

"Oh?" asked Tumbler, beside him on the couch. Behind them, in the kitchen, there was a clatter as one of the Rewinds threw a pot across the room and it hit the wall with a clang.

"Yeah, he asked to come over this afternoon," Chromedome continued, "His habblock doesn't have a yard."

"I keep telling you, _I_ am Rewind-one!" yelled one of the Rewinds.

"Over my dead body!"

"That's nice," said Tumbler, reaching over to pet Dominus, "Did you say yes?"

"Oh, of course," Chromedome nodded, even when another clatter indicated something else had been thrown, "We don't have any plans. At least, I don't. Dominus?" 

"Don't think I won't kill you for the name!" a Rewind snapped, furiously.

"I don't have anything planned," Dominus huffed, without onlining his optics, enjoying the attention. 

"As if you _could_!" the other Rewind screamed. 

"Rewind, darling, do you have any plans today?" asked Tumbler, looking into the kitchen.

"No!" they both screamed back at him.

"I should make snacks," Chromedome mused, "That's very domestic, isn't it? Making snacks, having people over. It's very indulgent."

"I'll go turn the oven on," Tumbler said, pushing himself to his pedes, and stepped over the Rewinds, who had devolved into furiously making out against the granite countertops, and began preheating the oven. 

* * *

"Have a good day at work, hun," said Chromedome, waving, as one of the Rewinds unlatched the front door and waved, leaving for the day. 

"Love you!" echoed Tumbler, beside him.

As soon as the door shut, the remaining Rewind climbed over the back of the couch and flopped down across their laps.

"It's pay attention to Rewind time," he said, succinctly. 

"Hey, Dom!" Chromedome called over his shoulder, to where the beastformer was napping on the windowsill, "It's pay attention to Rewind time."

"Oh, I love pay attention to Rewind time."

* * *

"Good news!" announced both Rewinds, throwing their hands in the air, "We've decided we aren't fighting anymore!" 

"Oh, thank _Primus_ ," said Chromedome, "Have you finally worked out which one of you is Rewind-one?"

"Oh, no," said the Rewind on the left, "We've decided lots of people share names, like tall Tankor and fat Tankor. We are both going to stay Rewind."

"Okay, but in _what way_ would you _prefer_ I differentiate who I'm talking to?" Chromedome said, sounding tired.

Both Rewinds shimmied onto the table and pointed at their legs. "Check it out!" 

On the left, white legs. On the right, black legs.

"I got boots!" said the Rewind with the boots, "That'll do it."

Chromedome stared at him for a long, hard moment. "Okay," he said, eventually, "That's nice, dear. I like your boots." 

The Rewinds high-fived, before bootless-Rewind turned back to Chromedome, "Also we're dating now."

* * *

"No, no, don't give me any hints," Brainstorm shushed him, hand on his faceplate in thought, leaning forward as he inspected Chromedome and Tumbler in their living room, "I can _definitely_ tell which is which."

" _Stormy_ ," sighed Chromedome, "Don't make it weird."

Brainstorm scoffed, "Me? Me make it weird? Are you joking? It was already weird, dude." He put his hand on his hips and tilted his head to the side, "Alright, so. One of you was on the Lost Light for six months and then died for awhile and one of you has known me like five extra years. Alright. Alright. I can work with that. It's you," he said, pointed at Tumbler, "You're the one that _didn't_ throw Prowl off a cliff." 

"Okay, legitimately, how did you figure that out?" Tumbler asked, a little impressed. 

"That's a secret," Brainstorm said, tapping his mask coyly, "In any case, what a wacky situation to be in, hm! We've certainly had our wackiness, but I think I'm justified in pointing out this as the wackiest. This house is roomy and all, but doesn't it get crowded with five of you?" 

"Well, Dominus and the Rewinds are minibots, so it's not _that_ bad," said Chromedome, leaning back against the wall and grabbing his drink to nurse, "Doesn't your lab get crowded with Quark _and_ Perceptor?"

"Perish the thought," Brainstorm handwaved dismissively, "It might be _distracting_ , but the company makes for _incredible_ peer review studies." 

"Right," said Tumbler, "I'm sure their revision notes are empirically unbiased."

"A scientist is always unbiased, Domey," Brainstorm wagged a finger at him, then turned back to the kitchen, where Perceptor and Quark were chatting with Dominus, "Hey, Percy, can I get another drink?" 

Quark opened the fridge, grabbed a cube, passed it to Perceptor, and he threw it overhand across the room like a baseball, straight into Brainstorm's waiting hand. 

* * *

Tumbler bent down to kiss each Rewind as he fumbled with the door lock, "I'll be back in a few hours! Try not to miss me too much." 

"Impossible," said the Rewind with the boots.

"Inconceivable," said the Rewind without the boots.

Tumbler waved and shut the door behind him, and both Rewinds snapped their heads toward Chromedome, startling him from where he was doing a crossword puzzle on the couch.

" _Get him_ ," yelled one of the Rewinds.

* * *

Chromedome didn't usually check the mail this early, but it was a pretty hot day and Tumbler had been in the garden since morning, so he wanted to bring him a chilled cube of Energon. He knew better than most how easy it was for him to get lost in what he was doing and completely forget to top off. 

"Hey!" he called, as he shut the front door of his suburban Iacon home behind him, "I brought you something to-" 

Chromedome stopped, blinking his visor, staring at the front hedges, where Tumbler was trimming shrubbery and looking particularly irritated while Prowl leaned against the white picket fence post, chattering away. Prowl stopped at his voice and looked up, staring at him as if baffled. 

"What-" Prowl started, looking slowly between the two identical Cybes, "Wait-"

"How many times do I have to change my number and throw you off a cliff for you to take a hint!" Chromedome yelled, throwing the cube in the porch in his anger, "Get out of here!" 

"Wait a second," said Prowl, still snapping his helm between Chromedome and Tumbler as if he might suddenly figure out what he hadn't been told, "How the h-"

"Get him, Dommy!" yelled one of the Rewinds, throwing the front door open. A turbofox skittered over the threshold and off the porch, barking like a mad dog. 

"Shit," said Prowl, taking two steps back before he thought better of it, transforming and hitting pavement as quickly as he could, Dominus in hot pursuit. Tumbler jabbed the hedge clippers into the ground and waved.

"Hey, babe!" said bootless Rewind at the door, waving back, "Don't forget I'm making cesium salami for lunch!" 

"I won't!" Tumbler called, retrieving the hedge clippers.

"Do you want help cleaning that up?" Rewind asked Chromedome, pointing at where he'd thrown and shattered the cube on the porch. 

"No, it's fine, I'll go get the mop," Chromedome sighed. Rewind waved him down for a quick kiss, tapping their masks together before he skipped back inside.

"Don't you forget about lunch either, then!" He said, disappearing into the foyer.

In the distance, Dominus was still barking.


End file.
